The Marketing Department…

 

Previously…

A running joke during my time at the casino was the stupidity that went along with being hired on in the marketing department.  The department was given what seemed like an unlimited budget to use on different schemes. This makes sense because, after all they are the ones that bring in the business right? Well that may be but sometimes the strategies were a bit unorthodox.

 

Marketing Woes…or was it Hoes…

 

The Dumbest People to Ever Purchase a Smart Car

 

Presents…

Poo-Holding: Not Just For Monkeys Anymore

 

During my time at the casino, we had people that would come in and spend a lot of money.  I wish I could tell all you Las Vegas fans that we called these people “whales” but they were simply termed High Rollers.  One particular gentleman amongst these high rollers always stood out but not for the reason you may think. This particular gentleman would come in with a large credit line ~$50k but never took or spent more than $1000 ever.  He was well past the age of retired and with that comes some different health problems. One day, this gentleman was sitting at a Blackjack table playing; this was nothing out of the ordinary. The man then walks over to a trash can on the side of the high rollers pit (specified grouping of table games in a casino) and stands there for a few minutes.  He then reaches in the back of his pants and can be seen pulling his hand out with poo in it. He throws it into the garbage can. He goes into the restroom and exits a moment later drying his hands. Security was called to the scene and escorted the man out of the casino; he was given an eviction and asked not to return to property until contacted.

 

Later…

 

Later that week we receive a forwarded E-Mail from my boss stating that the man that threw the feces away would be allowed to come in via the Vice President of Marketing for the casino.  I unfortunately did not save the E-Mail chain but it read something like this:

 

Boss: I don’t see the reason we should let someone that took a dump in their pants then threw it away back on property.  I know that accidents happen but there’s an added layer to this with the gentleman standing there for several minutes, reaching into his pants on the floor, and throwing the poop into the trash can.  It isn’t like this was a medical issue.

 

Marketing VP: Well actually this Gentleman does have a medical issue and we do not wish to discriminate against him due to this.  We will contact him later today and tell him that he can come back if he promises to make a better effort of getting to the restroom.

 

Boss Forward to Surveillance: It looks like this gentleman will be allowed back onto property.  Please do not have approached if seen.

 

Even Later…

 

The gentleman came back and was good for a few months but then as all serial poopers do…he relapsed.  One day while entering property, he was walking toward the Security checkpoint. He stuck his hands down his pants mid-stride and pulled the poop out.  He then threw it into the trash can and went straight to the bathroom. He exited moments later again washing his hands. He sat at a table and played for a short amount of time before he was approached and escorted out by Security.  The patron did not return during my tenure at the casino.

 

The Moral: Feel free to try and become a serial pooping menace at casinos as long as you are spending a lot of money.  If the marketing department is dumb enough you may just get away with it for a little bit.